atoms into suns

I walked into the bookstore the other day and for some reason wasn't able to make it past the first table. You know, the one they put right in front of the door, the one that has the shiny, expensive New Releases on it.

One book drew me in: a large photo book with a great picture on the front. National Geographic, so you know they're great pictures. The title was simply Work, and it was about people around the world doing the work they do to survive.

I started flipping through it, and one picture made me stop. Two young Buddhist monks, dressed in orange robes, holding out land mines in their hands for the photographer to see.

I stopped because while I've read the news stories about demining operations, I never imagined it looked like this. I had pictured troops in olive green, with thick flak jackets and kevlar helmets, with lots of specialized equipment. No doubt they're out there, too, but these boys were doing the same work with nothing to protect them. No vests, no equipment visible in the picture, only a walking stick.

In a way, it made perfect sense. These were people who had devoted their lives to a spiritual existence, to trying to transcend everyday life and help others do the same. But cloistered prayers only go so far. These kids were going out and doing dangerous work in order to save others. I believe that prayer is a great thing, but God still needs us to get up and do things so He can work through us, and these monks were doing that to the point of being willing to sacrifice their lives.

I stared at that picture for a few minutes in the store. I bought the book. It hurt a little to pay the $35, but at least I had a gift card for part of it.

Once I got it home, though, I found the photo that haunts me.

There is a picture of a baby. Grimy and naked, lying on the sidewalk with a cup next to her. Begging.

The caption simply says, "Baby left to beg alone, Guangdong, Shenzhen, China. 1992."

Where is this baby's mother? Her father? I know there are desperate people out there, so poor that I can't fathom it. But this? Who could leave their baby, alone and naked, on the street? I'd like to think that her parents care for her, that things have gotten better, that they really do love her like parents should. Maybe they put her there while they begged not far away, close enough to watch her, hoping to get more money from two begging cups than they would from one. I don't know. I involuntarily think of all the horrors that could happen to her while she lies there, defenseless.

There are people walking past, none looking at the baby. The cup doesn't have any money visible in it. The picture was taken 14 years ago. What is this child doing now? Shenzhen is one of the Chinese success stories now, with a business and construction boom that's transforming China and the world. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this could happen there; there are desperate people in rich American cities, too. Besides, Shenzhen wasn't the boomtown in 1992 that it is now.

It's hard to tell for sure, but the baby looks like she's over a year old, even close to a year and a half. Why does she just lie there? Can't she crawl, or even walk? Does she get cold, lying on the sidewalk, naked? Does she cry sometimes? Do people ever play with her? Smile at her? Or do they just ignore her? Does anyone ever scoop her up in their arms and cry?

I wish I had a good way to conclude this, but I don't. I just keep trying to find the words.