atoms into suns

It'd been too long since I just hopped in the car, found a trailhead, and started walking, so we did just that.

In the space of a couple hours, we threw pebbles in the water, played Poohsticks, learned a bit about the cycle of life and death while looking at a huge cottonwood tree that had fallen over, and speculated on what caused it to fall. We watched horses and bikes and runners and walkers and prairie dogs and birds.

I greeted a woman walking along. She was friendly enough, but barely said hello. As she went past, I noticed something looped in her hand like a leash, but she didn't have a dog. I looked closer and saw tassels and beads and finally realized they were prayer beads. I made a mental note to be as quiet as I could when we passed her wherever she decided to stop. It wasn't until later that it occurred to me that she was doing her prayer/meditation while she walked.

And when we got back to the parking lot, we learned that one should never park under a tree full of birds.

Footnote:
Is it just me, or do these guys take Poohsticks way too seriously? And an official World Poohsticks Championship? (Today, even!) Come on.

Since my oldest child got to the age where discipline was necessary and limits were constantly being tested, I've been trying to figure out just how to do it. How do you convince a child that climbing up the bookshelf isn't cool? Kids don't care that you're worried they'll fall off and crack their head open; they just know that you're taking away their fun. We want our kids to have adventurous spirits, of course. We want them to climb mountains and travel to strange places and test their limits, but at the same time, we're parents who don't want our kids to get hurt. I'm still trying to find the balance between being overprotective and not protecting enough. I know that will last for as long as I live, and I'm sure all parents go through the same thing.

So, how do we discipline? We don't hit, period. I really try not to yell, but when you have to pull the kid off the shelf for the fifth time in an hour, it's tough to control the frustration. I try to put it in perspective, walk off and take some deep breaths, and then come back to explain why I'm so insistent and upset about this. But sometimes it's hard to reason with preschoolers.

Don't get me wrong; I have absolutely wonderful kids. I marvel at how great they are, how sweet and considerate and radiant and kind. I try to put it in perspective -- if the biggest complaints I have are about climbing shelves, making messes, and making noise when the baby's sleeping, we're doing pretty well. Nevertheless, there are times when discipline is necessary.

I've been thinking about this issue a lot lately. Then last weekend I went to a workshop on "Domestic Violence and the Baha'i Community", which covered the whole range of domestic violence, including violence toward children. One of the things that struck me most is that the definition of domestic violence is far more broad by Baha'i standards than by current legal, if not societal, standards. The list goes on for nearly two full pages and includes everything from physical and verbal abuse to economic abuse, neglect, corrupting, coercion, isolation, even "creating dirt, disorder and filth in the living environment" and breaking and throwing things. Belittling and yelling at children are, of course, on the list.

A couple of the quotes from the materials:

It is not, however, permissible to strike a child, or vilify him, for the child's character will be totally perverted if he be subjected to blows or verbal abuse.

--'Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha, pg. 125

[The principle of the oneness of mankind] calls for a fundamental change in the manner in which people relate to each other, and the eradication of those age-old practices which deny the intrinsic human right of every individual to be treated with consideration and respect.

--Letter written on behalf of the Universal House of Justice on the subject of domestic violence, January 24, 1993

I think it's common to treat children as less deserving of our consideration and respect. It's easy to forget that discipline and guidance must be done respectfully and with loving-kindness rather than with frustration or even disdain or vengefulness.

I guess, after writing this out and letting it roll around my brain a bit, that discipline simply needs to be done with detachment -- the recognition that the child is testing limits rather than acting out of disrespect -- and loving guidance. Seems so simple. The detachment, I need to work on.

See also...

I was wandering around the Internet today and ran across a link for GodBlogCon. Cool idea, I thought. It'd be nifty to get a bunch of bloggers together to talk about their faith and how they present it, how the development of ideas is different in blogs than it is in other formats, and how blogging has helped their personal faith evolve.

Unfortunately, turns out GodBlogCon is reserved for Christians only. "And so the Convention will not include individuals from other religions or Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Christian Science, and other cultic aberration groups." (from the SIXTH section)

"Cultic aberration groups"? Suppose they meant that in the original senses of those words, or in the way it comes off?

They're welcome to have a con and invite whomever they'd like, of course, but the name GodBlogCon and the language they use to disinvite others is what's grating on me. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, since they do say right after that that "It is not [their] intention to offend anyone," but it sorta reminds me of the guy who tried to tell me once how Muslims worship that false god Allah, while Christians worship God. (Whereas Arabic-speaking Christians worship, uh, well...)

This seemed fitting, based on what I just posted.

O God, my God! Thou seest how black darkness is enshrouding all regions, how all countries are burning with the flame of dissension, and the fire of war and carnage is blazing throughout the East and the West. Blood is flowing, corpses bestrew the ground, and severed heads are fallen on the dust of the battlefield.

O Lord! Have pity on these ignorant ones, and look upon them with the eye of forgiveness and pardon. Extinguish this fire, so that these dense clouds which obscure the horizon may be scattered, the Sun of Reality shine forth with the rays of conciliation, this intense gloom be dispelled and the resplendent light of peace shed its radiance upon all countries.

O Lord! Draw up the people from the abyss of the ocean of hatred and enmity, and deliver them from this impenetrable darkness. Unite their hearts, and brighten their eyes with the light of peace and reconciliation. Deliver them from the depths of war and bloodshed, and free them from the darkness of error. Remove the veil from their eyes, and enlighten their hearts with the light of guidance. Treat them with Thy tender mercy and compassion, and deal not with them according to Thy justice and wrath which cause the limbs of the mighty to quake.

O Lord! Wars have persisted. Distress and anxiety have waxed great, and every flourishing region is laid waste.

O Lord! Hearts are heavy, and souls are in anguish. Have mercy on these poor souls, and do not leave them to the excesses of their own desires.

O Lord! Make manifest in Thy lands humble and submissive souls, their faces illumined with the rays of guidance, severed from the world, extolling Thy Name, uttering Thy praise, and diffusing the fragrance of Thy holiness amongst mankind.

O Lord! Strengthen their backs, gird up their loins, and enrapture their hearts with the most mighty signs of Thy love.

O Lord! Verily, they are weak, and Thou art the Powerful and the Mighty; they are impotent, and Thou art the Helper and the Merciful.

O Lord! The ocean of rebellion is surging, and these tempests will not be stilled save through Thy boundless grace which hath embraced all regions.

O Lord! Verily, the people are in the abyss of passion, and naught can save them but Thine infinite bounties.

O Lord! Dispel the darkness of these corrupt desires, and illumine the hearts with the lamp of Thy love through which all countries will erelong be enlightened. Confirm, moreover, Thy loved ones, those who, leaving their homelands, their families and their children, have, for the love of Thy Beauty, traveled to foreign countries to diffuse Thy fragrances and promulgate Thy Teachings. Be Thou their companion in their loneliness, their helper in a strange land, the remover of their sorrows, their comforter in calamity. Be Thou a refreshing draught for their thirst, a healing medicine for their ills and a balm for the burning ardor of their hearts.

Verily, Thou art the Most Generous, the Lord of grace abounding, and, verily, Thou art the Compassionate and the Merciful.

`Abdu'l-Baha, Baha'i Prayers, pgs. 181-184

I'm tired of divisive politics, I'm tired of bad news, I'm tired of lies, I'm tired of complete lack of trust and faith in others, I'm tired of people being killed and maimed and giving away their freedoms and growing more desperate. People can't even buy crappy furniture without mortal peril. The good things are overshadowed by the offensive, inane, and awful.

As a Baha'i, I know that things will get better. I also know things have to get worse first, but I keep wondering if we're ever going to hit bottom. Every time I think we must be about there, the bottom drops again. We're down the rabbit hole, and frankly, it scares the crap out of me.

We have but to turn our gaze to humanity's blood-stained history to realize that nothing short of intense mental as well as physical agony has been able to precipitate those epoch-making changes that constitute the greatest landmarks in the history of human civilization.

Shoghi Effendi, World Order of Baha'u'llah, pg. 45

The long ages of infancy and childhood, through which the human race had to pass, have receded into the background. Humanity is now experiencing the commotions invariably associated with the most turbulent stage of its evolution, the stage of adolescence, when the impetuosity of youth and its vehemence reach their climax, and must gradually be superseded by the calmness, the wisdom, and the maturity that characterize the stage of manhood. Then will the human race reach that stature of ripeness which will enable it to acquire all the powers and capacities upon which its ultimate development must depend.

Shoghi Effendi, World Order of Baha'u'llah, pgs. 201-202

I've decided to go on a news fast. I'm becoming more and more negative and cynical, and I don't like it.

(For the record, I'm not depressed. I don't do depressed well, but I am very good at being grumpy.)

My hope is that by avoiding the bad stuff for a while I can get my shiny happy outlook back, but either way, I know I need to do something. I've been trying to figure out what kind of service I can do with my small children in tow. I haven't figured it out yet, but I think it's time to work harder on coming up with an answer. Ideas are welcome.

Fortunately, immediately after deciding on the news fast, I found My Little Golden Book about Zogg (via Making Light). Tears of laughter streaming down your cheeks is a good way to start a news fast.